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More than a "Pastors Wife"


Before getting married to my husband I was always driven and determine to be great. I remember working long hours and at times more than one job. Then leaving my part time and starting an entertainment magazine in my city. Doing these things opened up opportunities in acting that I was able to explore. Now being an inspirational blogger and speaker allows me to share my experiences and do more in my communities and in the lives of other women. Being a pastor’s wife adds to my already established resume and I thank God for allowing me to be in position to be more than that. Someone asked me how does one juggle ministry, family and “I”! That’s a great question but the number one answer for me is communication. You have to sit down with your significant other and express yourself. What is it you want to do? If you have no goals or dreams you would eventually sit in the shadows of your husband, the pastor and for some that’s fine with them but for me I’ve always been a dream chaser and determine to retire before I’m 35 and that doesn’t take away from my position in ministry or relationship with my husband if anything it adds on to what I can do for them and how I can be an asset. Being a happy wife, a joyful mom comes from loving myself and being happy with who I am and most of that has to do with how you see yourself. If you’re currently trying to find who you are, I recommend journaling and figuring out what it is you want out of life. Besides being a wife, a pastor, a mom or etc. You have to ask yourself outside of those titles who am I? What do I enjoy doing? How can I make myself happy? Because if you don’t those titles will truly never be fulfilling for you and you’ll start to envy one over the other or not really enjoy the person you are. God is truly the only clear line of communication its important to speak with him let him know everything you feel. What’s going on in your mind and what you want out of life. He is the only one who can touch others and make everything alright.


Here are 5 tips for a woman wanting more than the title “Pastors Wife”

1-Determine who you are outside of the title.

            What are things you want to accomplish? Where do you see yourself next year? What organizations do you want to help with? 

2-Communicate with your spouse 

            Let him know how you feel good or bad. When things aren’t going well for you or your feeling down, he’s your rock so outside of ministry he is your husband first. Express your feelings and where you see yourself next year.

3-Start to journal 

            Write down your thoughts and feelings. Daily routines and what you see. How you’re doing and what’s going on around you can all help you determine where you fit in. 

4-Find an activity you enjoy

            Whether its health you want to work on. Get in a gym routine and spend time with yourself doing this or a friend/partner. If its painting you enjoy do that. If its giving back join a nonprofit you can volunteer just do something different.

5-Ask for guidance from God


 God is the only one who knows our ending. He loved us from the beginning. He wants us to succeed and to be happy. It’s important to always speak to him before making decisions he will lead us down the right path and we wouldn’t have to make wrong turns.

If this helped you please share

Thank you 

Lady Aiken 

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